"I could have just died." Didn't you want to kill him?" It was a phrase or two like these that really hung me up when my dad was first diagnosed with his cancer. For those of you that don't know, I do not come from a long line of familial cancer survivors. My dad and I are going to be the first and only (we always did like to be special). Within 6 months of each other, he has pancreatic and I have ovarian. Weird. Anyway, along with ovarian cancer, I also have "Foot in Mouth" disease. When he was diagnosed, I felt odd saying things like, "Isn't that sick?" to someone who actually was. I have to tell you, please don't feel weird. I don't even think about it. I am still the same person I was before and when I'm bald, I'll still be that person...just not a cute. Now, I shouldn't say that. There is a small possibility that I could be a very hot looking, 44 year old bald woman...we'll just have to wait and see.
Speaking of all that, I went to the doctor on Friday. It was time to get the staples out. Did I mention that there were 35 of them! You ask, "Did it hurt?" Well, she used these scissor kind of things and she would put these scissor thingies under the middle of the staple and squeeze. That would bend the staples sides out and release it from my skin...35 times. No, I can't say it hurt for the 3.5 minutes it took, but I wouldn't want to experience it all day! I can say they are out now, my belly feels much less itchy and I have Steri Strips across it for one more day. Looking much less like a train track and more like...well, someday I'll post the pictures...or not.
Before I had my staples removed we did our phase two talk with my doctor. We had to get going on a post-op plan for chemo. Not just surgery for me. I couldn't get off that easy. And quite frankly, I don't want those potential microbial cancer cells to think that there is any room at the inn, so next stop...Chemo Station. (okay, enough with the train references, OY!)
The biggest question was whether to enter into a study or go the traditional route of treatment. That's a little misleading, because even in the study, I would get traditionally approved/used chemotherapy. The study is looking at which of the 3 ways of administering the chemo (just IV, IV plus drugs directly into your belly, or just drugs into your belly) works best. Plus, they are looking at after chemo, administering another type of drug. This drug is approved for use with other types of cancer, and they want to see if it works on ovarian cancer if given after treatment is complete. Long story short...The study follows me for 5 years offering me care I would not get in a typical treatment scenario. It was a no brainer...I'm in the study. Now for all of you that are wondering, I will not get a placebo and I am not some sort of Guinea Pig. The chemo they use... all works. The drug they give me after has show some benefit to ovarian cancer survivors in a recent study. This is a phase 3 study for "efficacy". They will follow me for 5 years and I will get CT scans every 6 months among other things. Great care with the doctor I know and trust.
So that's the plan. I have to go in next Friday and get worked over...CT, Chest X-ray, EKG, blood work. All baseline stuff for the study. Then the following Friday...my life continues to change...forever.
So glad to hear your optimism and frankness. I think the study sounds like a no-brainer, too. Follow-up like that is priceless. Don't forget that we are all willing to listen, too, when it's not so pleasant... we love you... deeply!
ReplyDeleteBlessing... Pol
Yeah, that sounds like a no-brainer to me, too.
ReplyDeleteI completely believe that you will be a totally hot looking 44 year-old bald woman.
So I think that both you and your father should adopt the line I use when people ask me if twins run in our family: "They do now." As in you are both now a part of a long line of familial cancer survivors. You do now.